Imagine a student who can solve complex math problems far beyond their grade level but struggles to make friends. Or a child who feels deeply for others and passionately debates fairness but becomes overwhelmed by their own emotions. Gifted learners don’t just think differently—they feel differently, too. Their advanced intellect often comes with unique social-emotional challenges that can impact their confidence, relationships, and well-being.
It comes as no surprise that addressing the social and emotional needs of students is important work. When engaging with gifted learners, we have learned a lot in recent years about the different social and emotional characteristics they have, compared to their classmates. Understanding and addressing these needs is key to helping gifted students thrive both in and out of the classroom
Unique Social-Emotional Characteristics of Gifted Students
Asynchronous Development: Imagine your brain is racing ahead while the rest of you is trying to catch up. That is an image we use to explain what is happening to students who are gifted. Gifted learners may have exponential growth in some areas but still have tender spots or needs in other areas, which includes the social dynamics of relationships and making friends.
Heightened Sensitivity: Gifted children are often highly attuned to their environment and internal experiences, noticing details and nuances that others may miss. They feel deeply for others and have a powerful sense of justice, often reacting strongly to perceived unfairness or injustice. Their emotions, both positive and negative, can be experienced with great intensity, leading to both joy and frustration. Their heightened sensitivity and strong opinions in a debate can sometimes make it difficult for them to negotiate social situations with peers and teachers, leading them to feelings of isolation or misunderstanding. Gifted learners, due to their heightened awareness and intensity, can be prone to overthinking and catastrophizing, leading to anxiety and perfectionism, especially when facing challenges or feeling pressure to be a high achiever. This negative overthinking can cause underachievement and imposter syndrome with continuous internal conflicts about intelligence and self-worth.
Perfectionism and Fear of Failure: The drive to excel can lead to perfectionistic tendencies, which can contribute to feelings of anxiety or frustration when they don't meet their own ambitious standards. Sometimes, that same perfectionism triggers procrastination. They can do a project in their heads but when it comes to actual implementation, the vision in their head does not match the project on paper.
Executive Functioning: Executive Function is the coach of the brain. It helps you organize thoughts, writing and materials. Task initiation, organization, time management, emotional control and stress tolerance are all a part of the learning process. For some gifted learners, they can mask these executive functioning needs. With busy schedules and environmental expectations, some may find it hard to manage tasks and schedules. Instead of working on strengthening their executive skills, they may check out and feel overwhelmed, bringing a sense of hopelessness or immobility to their school days.
How to Support Gifted Students’ Social-Emotional Development
Create Supportive, Nonjudgmental Relationships: Supporting the social-emotional development of students starts with fostering caring, nonjudgmental relationships. Educators can model kindness, teach social-emotional skills, and facilitate group activities to encourage peer support. Creating a judgment-free classroom allows students to express themselves openly and without fear. Establishing trust and psychological safety helps students view mistakes as learning opportunities rather than failures. When students feel supported by their peers and teachers, they develop confidence, resilience, and a positive attitude toward learning.
Encourage Emotional Resilience and Growth Mindset: Give them strategies to embrace challenges and failures. Do an oral rehearsal of how they will handle an upcoming stressful event. Characteristics of resiliency involve having a sense of purpose, a good sense of humor and a belief that you have control over your own life. An important lesson: Even when we fail, we can still be in control.
Providing Opportunities for Social Connection: Finding like-minded peers through gifted school and summer programs, extracurriculars, and mentorship. Make sure these programs are places where students are recognized for their skill development, not for being smart. Help them define what effort truly is.
Teaching Self-Advocacy and Emotional Regulation: Helping gifted students articulate their needs and manage stress. Discuss with them what is a reasonable definition of success. Engage in dialogue about how a belief in themselves can lead to task accomplishment when they thoughtfully apply their skills.
The Role of Parents and Educators
How Parents Can Help at Home: When your child has a sense of helplessness or a sense of being stuck, have open conversations that encourage time for sharing and encourage planning for next steps. When they doubt themselves, engage your child in conversations about how their identity is not directly tied to academic accomplishments.
How Teachers Can Foster Social-Emotional Growth in the Classroom: Differentiation, flexible learning, and mental health awareness need be at the forefront. Show curiosity of the roots of a gifted learners’ behaviors and involve them in the problem solving of negative behaviors. School counselors can include gifted learners in executive function skill groups or emotional regulation dialogue groups to build their capacity for striving through difficult situations.
Addressing the social-emotional needs of gifted students is essential for their overall well-being and success. By recognizing their unique characteristics, we can better support them in navigating both academic and personal growth. Parents and educators play a vital role in fostering environments where gifted learners feel understood, challenged, and supported. When we provide the right tools and guidance, gifted learners can develop the confidence, emotional regulation, and executive skills necessary to thrive—not just in school, but in life! Learn more about the ESC’s Gifted Supports here.
Carmen Tarbill and Tricia Merenda are Gifted Specialists and Certified SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted) Facilitators. They provide support to districts on gifted learners’ needs via consultation and professional development. They also facilitate parent support groups for districts with the focus on supporting social and emotional needs for gifted learners of all ages.