Pumpkin spice and peppermint lattes are back on menus everywhere, which can only mean one thing: the holiday season is back. The Hallmark Channel has released another slate of holiday movies; A Christmas Story is running 24 hours a day. The grocery store’s Top-40 playlist has been replaced by the dulcet tones of Andy Williams, crooning that it’s “the most wonderful time of the year.” But what Andy neglects to mention is that, for many of us, the holidays are also the most stressful time of the year.
For those of you who love the holidays, go grab yourself an extra cup of peppermint cocoa and have a seat by the fire. But for everyone who is wondering just how we’re going to make it to January 2nd with our minds, bodies and spirits intact, here are some tips to add to your holiday toolbox:
Ground Yourself: Unfortunately, the image of happy strangers celebrating the season in picture-perfect clothes with Hollywood families in beautifully decorated homes is a frequent sight this time of year. When we compare ourselves to the airbrushed versions of others’ lives, we tend to feel disappointed with our own realities. This is why it’s so important to remind ourselves that perfection can be staged in photos—we, however, have to actually live our lives. By embracing our wonderful imperfections and those of the ones we love, we are reminded of how fleeting, (but also what a gift) these moments really are.
Calmly Prioritize: Have you ever composed a holiday to-do list that was longer than the amount of time available in the month of December, much less a single day? Then try this: start by making a list of what you would accomplish if you had all the time in the world. Now, go back and circle the items on the list that are essential to your holiday experience. Wanting to purchase unique gifts, perfectly decorate your tree, or attend every holiday get-together is great until you start making tough choices. Letting go of expectations will allow you to embrace the customs and people that mean the most to you.
Just Breathe: Throughout the holiday season, sensory overload is at an all-time high—and this can quickly become overwhelming and draining. Remember to hit the pause button and steal a few quiet moments for yourself every day to regroup and refresh. For some, this will take the form of an early morning cup of coffee sipped in silence at the kitchen table; for others, this might be yoga or meditation or walking the dog around the block. The key here is to make sure that you have a repeatable routine to which you can commit whenever possible.
Budget Carefully: For many of us, finances are already at the top of our list of concerns, which makes this time of year especially stressful. The easiest and most impactful step you can take is to be realistic with your budget: consider paring down your gift list or agreeing to a set spending amount with your friends and family. Is this awkward? Maybe, but remember that many will be stretched by the same financial demands and obligations. However, if purchasing high-priced presents is a necessity, then consider scaling back your social obligations or choosing low-dollar events to attend.
Embrace Support: If you have experienced significant loss or other hardship, this can be a time of profound sadness or mourning. When we face this sort of emotional burden, we can be tempted to isolate and avoid interactions with others, especially those with whom we are closest. However, maintaining connections with those who support you most—and supporting them when you are able—is a critical practice. You may consider participating in a support group or workshop focused on grief during the holidays and individual counseling for both momentary and overall well-being. Being kind to yourself is key.
Ultimately, the one certainty of this holiday season is the same as every other: by the time “Auld Lang Syne” is sung and the ball drops, the festivities will be over. Soon, the decorations will be packed away, our seasonal recipes will be put aside for another year and Top-40 earworms will haunt us in the grocery aisles. So, here’s to the hope that what stays with us this year is not only the satisfaction that comes from successfully managing our holiday stress but also new memories of joy and connection that the season may bring.
Amber Nickels (she/her) has been a Mental Health Specialist with the ESC in the school setting for three decades. In that role, she has provided counseling and support services for students in kindergarten through grade 12 and their families. Most recently, her role includes providing support for educators in the area of mental health and wellness. In addition, her areas of specialty include mental health concerns and supports in the school settings, special education services and mental health, wellness and self-care, social-emotional development of the gifted and twice exceptional student, crisis prevention and response, and trauma-informed care in the school setting.